Charities

Charity is what you use when your far from your family and friends. Charity is what you use when your family and friends have seen through all your best scams and refuse to support you any longer. There are several places to access the good-hearted suckers that will believe your so-called sob stories and will blindly give you anything you ask for, especially food. The first place to look for this is the church. Any church in the country has a stockpile of canned and non-perishable food items available for free; if you have have the right approach. You have to have a good story to tell. I can’t tell you what to say exactly, only that it must be based in truth, and embellished from there. All good con stories are based in truth to help the story teller remember what it is he or she has stated. Will you go to hell for lying to the church? Probably, but we’re not concerned with the future of our souls here, only the future of our empty stomachs.

The next candidate for free food is, of course, the Salvation Army. They will provide you with everything from potatoe chips to toilet paper. But remember, you must have a good story for why you need the assistance. In both of these instances, don’t forget important details like the proper clothing, jewelry, and scent. Wearing a pair of vintage 1985 sweat pants with a candy necklace and having a commanding scent of body odor will go a long way in making your story believable. This will also allow for a speedy process of attaining your goods because no one will want to smell you for longer than they possibly have to.